I don't know what happened. Perhaps I'm just freaking out over normal school shit, but I feel like I'm gonna bomb at least one of these four classes and there isn't much I can do about it. I just haven't been able to get any traction. I feel like I've got the pedal to the floor and I'm still not getting anywhere. I know life is supposed to be challenging, but why does it always feel so overwhelming to me? Most people don't feel like this. I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something else. I feel like I'm already supposed to have gotten where I want to go. I feel too old to be just figuring things out like some freaking kid. I'm 31 and I still don't know what I want to do. Writers write, right? So where's the writing?
I don't even know if I'm good at it. I haven't even come up with an original story. No one likes anything I write as far as fiction. And this major thing. How the fuck am I supposed to know if I have the right major? Who tells me that? I'm supposed to know what I want to do first? Well that changes with the weather. I've always loved making people laugh. Maybe I should keep trying stand up. Doubt I'll make a living, but at least it's fun. I've always loved to sing, too. Maybe there's something in music... yeah... Ugh, grr, fuck argh.